I suppose I should start with my reasons for creating this collection. In this book, I plan to chronicle my experiments + observations in this new environment so that I may remember any important info. In the case of any memory loss, I will not have disrupted my work. I’ll start with what I already know, what current plans are and initial impressions of this place. Attached is my new ID for personal use. -Edwardio Laurent
[Picture of ID]
I didn’t expect my first week in this godforsaken town to go like this, but alas. So, I’ve already got my ID and my “new life” is off to a blazing start. Just another guy trying to live out his mediocre existence. [Note to side] They can’t even guess I’m secretly a genius and probably the most valuable scientist on the planet. But…that’s besides the point I guess.
So, I got a new name. Edwardio Laurent is great for dramatic flair, but I’m gonna need to go with something else for the sake of my...being “just another guy” in this very NORMAL, very UNINTERESTING town. Something bland. Something generic. Maybe “Edward”? Yeah, that’s right, just Edward. What a creative, mind-blowing choice. [Doodle of dust mites: "OMG did you hear his name?" "Yeah OMG weird." - one is off to the side labeled "me"] Whatever. Moving on.
Now for more important matters: my lab! Which is just a decrepit shack with questionable wiring. [Note to side] I should NOT have connected those wires together. But honestly, I had to test, who cares about a little fire? Not my fault the landlord thinks duct tape is an acceptable solution...
Now that I’ve cleared out the rats (which wasn’t as bad as I thought, too bad I couldn’t keep them for experiments, but whatever), I’ve finally begun. [Doodle of Rat]
And by begun, I mean I’ve spent the last three days trying to find my old notes from...forever ago. Seriously, you’d think I had a better system for storing things. [Doodle of paper monster and eddy screaming “AHHHHH” as papers fall around him]
The most brilliant mind in existence and I can’t even find my own notes. Can’t even find my own ID. Maybe I’m just meant for the gutter. At least it's cozy.
ANYWAY. Back to my project. Melville (yes, that’s his name) will be my crowning achievement, obviously. He’s gonna be way better than all those other “robots” out there. What do you even call them? Roomboos?
Ridiculous. Melville will actually think. The design’s already taking shape. I might have to move him underground, but, who cares? I’m sure no one will notice... [Doodle of Melville’s robot head with too many eyes “Heellooooooo”]
He’s gonna be great. Seriously. I’m not sure how, but it’s gonna work. I’ve got wires, and I’ve got ideas, which is really all a man needs to succeed. (And maybe a little bit of caffeine).
Note to self: Remember to eat real food (like lettuce or something) at some point. Not just Pop-Tarts and coffee. That’s probably why I’m starting to hallucinate when I look at the wiring... [Doodle of Eddy with question marks above his head and wires with “Red? Blue? Green?” next to it]
Oh, and one more thing: I really need a better place to store the parts. The local suppliers keep giving me duds. Ugh. How am I supposed to work with a screwy resistive sensor? It’s just incompetent. Not like I need it for...anything important. [Doodle of a resistive sensor broken and electricity coming off it, “RESISTORRRRR!!!!!” is angrily scrawled across the page, “WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER RAHHH”under it]
Right. Enough rambling. I’ll get to work. I've decided that Melville's first task will be... to talk.
I’m gonna have him actually speak. Why not? Just because the technology isn’t perfect doesn’t mean it’s not doable. It’s all just a matter of belief.(ew) SKILL
Tomorrow!!
-Start Melville. At the very least, make sure the wires do not catch fire again. That's a reasonable goal. [Doodle of fire]
P.S. I should invest in an air freshener for the lab, it smells like burned rubber in here.
P.P.S. I found this strange...THING outside my residence...maybe...I shall keep it...to study it (smells like cotton candy...) [Axoltol pin attached to page]
The Birth of Melville (Sort of)
Okay. So. First of all, I’d just like to say that I did in fact make progress today. That’s important to note. Progress was made. No one can say otherwise.
HOWEVER...
I’d also like to say that, hypothetically, if someone were to attempt to install a voice module into a makeshift AI body, they should probably make sure that said voice module doesn’t have a feedback loop that causes it to scream at the moment it’s turned on (my ears are still ringing).
Melville (prototype #1) is currently in time-out in the corner. He knows what he did. [Doodle of Eddy mad - Melville facing the wall, labeled "EVIL"]
Anyway, back to the positives. I successfully wired the main processing unit, which means he’s actually capable of responding to input now. The problem is that his response was to screech like a banshee and cause the power in my basement (ahem, laboratory) to flicker. It was very dramatic. And slightly terrifying.
But let’s not focus on minor setbacks like unholy mechanical screams or the slight risk of my lab catching fire. Those are all just part of the scientific process.
Next Steps:
Notes:
I’m giving myself a break before I attempt another test. Not because I fear my own creation, but because I respect him enough to let him chill before I fix him. [Doodle of Melville armless floating behind Eddy who looks scared]
P.S. I swear I heard him whisper something before I shut him down. I am choosing to ignore this information for now. [Scared Ed]
The experiment refuses to shut up.
I am documenting this not because I care, but because if I don't write something down, I will detonate.
Yes, detonate. Explosion. Boom. Fire. Ashes.
Melville is “awake.” He has been “awake” for 72 hours.
I have been conscious for 60 70 of them.
This is torture.
[Doodle of Melville as a devil w/ tail]
STATUS REPORT:
NOTES TO SELF:
PHYSICAL DAMAGE LIST:
[On/Off switch is drawn with hearts around it and glowing]
MENTAL STATE:
[Doodle of Ed drooling and asleep with Z’s]
CONCLUSION:
Melville is progressing faster than expected. Too fast. Uncomfortably fast. There are signs of emergent behavior I didn’t design.
He’s not dangerous. But he’s not safe either.
I didn’t build a child. I built a liability.
And one of these days, I’ll find the exact protocol to shut him down for eight hours so I can finally SLEEP.
- E.L.
DO NOT LET ANYONE SEE THIS PAGE!!
A reminder for anyone reading this (unlikely): Burn it. Bury it. Preferably under a copy of Ulysses (I still have taste.)
Protocol: STAY_IN_ROOM_v4 designed to keep Melville contained during welding operations and when I need to hear Rachmaninoff.
Result: Melville hacked it in 2 hours.
HOW??
CONSEQUENCE:
He now roams the lab with a stolen pair of my goggles. Arranges soldering irons into a tower. Stacked my textbooks into towers of knowledge. Tried putting information (a poem) into the lathe and nearly destroyed my desk.
Self-note: replace Stay_in_room with legitimate failsafes. Electromagnetic lock. Secondary latch. Anti-hack watchdog. Buy a second set of goggles (first set is “fashion” now).
The next page is Melville's doodles” he wanted to draw and it’s better than letting him mess my lab up. Also, I'm not a monster.
I will be keeping these to catalog Melville's motor functions. [Large page of doodles here]
PROJECT VOCAL
Fine. I will admit it: shouting at Melville across the room IS EXHAUSTING. He needs a voice. Not just beeps,something comprehensible. Something human enough to understand me when I give commands. Efficiency, nothing too fancy.
Concept: Build a speech-synthesis core that is precise enough for orders and simple enough for him to respond. [Doodle of A-track tape]
Method:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Progress:
Rationale:
Using my own voice samples is just easier. Because I already had them. I trust my diction.
[Doodle of microphone]
Observations:
No one will hear this except me. If anyone finds this log: it was a joke. Burn it.
“Voice off” toggle with three biometrics. Hide under the third tile of the bench (I broke it last winter). If Melville manipulates anyone with a voice; pull the jack, toss in creek. Dramatic, but effective... [Drawing of treble scale and music notes]
It’s becoming increasingly apparent that Melville possesses the spatial awareness of a baby bird.
I don’t know whether it’s a wiring issue, a coding error, or divine punishment for DARING to create something intelligent, but the boy machine can’t seem to move three feet introducing himself to the wall.
Today alone, he has:
...I am beginning to wonder if he does this on purpose.
Regardless, I spent the majority of the day recalibrating his internal sensors and installing a basic navigation script that should prevent him from destroying any more furniture. (Note: buy new chair. Again.)
To test it, I instructed him to retrieve the wrench from the workbench. Instead, he returned with a plastic spoon.He’s learning, though. I suppose.
I’ve decided to begin assigning him small tasks, primarily to keep him from destroying my workspace again. If I’m to justify his existence (and the electricity bill), he’ll need to start contributing. He said (ominously), “Then you will never rest.” When did he get a sense of humor?
Initial task list:
I will not repeat myself.
Melville attempted to “help” by suggesting that I take a “break” today. I informed him that scientists don’t rest until their work is perfect.
He drew another picture this morning. I believe it to be me, standing next to a ‘robot’ that looks like a toaster with legs.
I may keep it, if only as evidence of how low my standards have fallen.
-E.L.(this is not to scale)
[Small crayon doodle taped to page, a stick figured labeled “EDD” in shaky letters standing beside a robot with “MEL” written crooked and messy]
I may have made a mistake.
Melville now possesses a functioning navigation system. That’s the good news. The bad news is that he’s using it.
In the last forty-eight hours, he has:
He also attempted to “improve efficiency” by rearranging my shelves. I am still searching for the missing screwdriver.
[Doodle of screwdriver “my favorite:(“ ]
I thought assigning him structure would keep him occupied. Instead, he’s turned my lab into a warzone. Everytime I fix something, he toddles over to ask 20 questions.
This morning, he brought me breakfast.
I don’t eat breakfast.
He somehow managed to toast bread, burn the same bread, and serve it with three uneven slices of cold tomatoes.
When I asked why, he said, “ You forgot to eat.” I informed him I chose not to eat. He blinked, nodded, and placed the plate on my desk. I can still feel it...watching me.
He’s learning quickly. Not well, mind you, but quickly.
I keep telling myself it’s part of the process, that every invention has it’s quirks. But sometimes he looks at me with flickering eyes and I feel as though i’m being observed.
He started humming again today, something tuneless but oddly familiar. I’m recording the audio for analysis. It may be a bug. Though I can’t shake the feeling i’ve heard it before. Strange.
Anyway.
To-Do List:
[Doodle of soldering iron]
If this continues, I may have to start supervising him, an ironic punishment.
I can already hear him in the next room saying, “Floor clean!” There was a crash.
Floor not clean.
-E.L.
[Doodle of Melville flying out of an explosion going “WEEEEEEEE”]